I wonder; if we are so clever, why do we act so clueless?


Recently I took a long road trip on my own so I had hours and hours to myself and the sheer luxury of mind-space and musings. I have a stream of consciousness setting that is especially prominent under those circumstances. I wonder about many things, but mostly about conflict (because I'm on a mission to find freer ways of dealing with this) , power imbalances and random stuff that crop up in life.

Here are some of the things I wonder about, intensely, fleetingly or consistently and generally they find their way into my practise. Either raw, as a growing awareness, resolved or somewhere in between.

I wonder:

  1. Do people in positions of power realise that in conflict situations some people need a Honoris Crux simply for speaking up and others only qualify for a cappuccino?

  2. Are we more inclined to deal with conflict head on when we believe that we would still be loved, or when we know we have nothing to lose?

  3. Why the word ‘deserve’ sticks me in the craw? Is it because of its links to worthiness or entitlement or the fine line between them?

  4. What is the correlation between intrinsically feeling less worthy and generally acting more entitled?

  5. How often people at the top who proclaim that they are good with conflict, feel precisely like that because of the invisible and visible cloak of power their position bestows on them?

  6. How consistently do we decide beforehand what people will be, or act like in a meeting instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt? And yes, I'm aware of precedence.

  7. Why are we so stuck on being right rather than feeling good or being happy?

  8. Could there be a more prominent place to use Winnie the Pooh or Calvin and Hobbes in conflict training?

  9. Why do some people have a blind ‘block of flats’ instead of a blind spot?

  10. Don’t people know that a repetitive f… you during conflict sort of keeps the situation in a certain place?

  11. Would I need another set of crowns before I die, because of all the clenching of my jaws and grinding of my teeth while I count to ten? Repeatedly.

  12. How short is the fuse between not being heard and burning buildings?

  13. How do we teach our children to be mindful, peaceful, confident and courageous?

  14. Why is it so difficult for some people to just move off the court and stop playing the game?

I like to know from you:

  1. What are the three things you wonder about most before conflict erupts?

  2. What are the things you think about most during conflict?

  3. What do you think about after conflict?

  4. Did you insist on being right? Why?

  5. Did that make you happy? Why or why not?

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 naett@naett-atkinson.com

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